Between the Lines
by katyrye
Summary: <html><head></head>GSR Highlights and what I think happens between the lines. Rated G right now</html>
1. Chapter 1

**I am aware that there is a similar story floating around, but I did not know until I was researching for this story. I looked at it and I am satisfied they are not TOO similar. The main reason I rarely read is so I do not get accused of plagiarism. I thought of this the other day and I was let down when I found one a bit like it, but I will go ahead and post. I hope you like it. My GSR moments may not be the ones people thing of right away… but I think they matter. Please enjoy and I do love reviews. I will try and read some of yours soon. Love you guys, Katy~**

**~8~**

He wasn't too sure why he had decided to call Sara. He knew that he needed an extra set of hands on the team until he was able to hire a permanent replacement. He had found himself dialing her number before he had realized that his fingers were moving; as if his hands were on auto pilot. He listened to the ring-back as he waited.

"Sidle," he heard when the phone connected.

Just listening to her smoky voice on the phone lightened his burden. He hadn't spoken to her in months, but when he did their conversations were always clever and light-hearted.

"Sara, it's Gil," Grissom replied, hoping that he hadn't caught her at a bad moment.

"Gil?" Sara asked again for clarity.

Grissom rubbed a hand over his tired face. "Yeah," he said. "How have you been?"

Grissom could hear Sara's smile through the phone. "I've been great," she said. "I just wrapped up a case involving an ice cream truck and a runaway trolley."

Grissom allowed himself to laugh at the image of Sara's CSI team chasing a trolley down a steep San Francisco hill. He truly admired the way Sara spoke and handled herself. She really was one of the most brilliant young women he ever had the pleasure of meeting.

"Sara I hate to ask," he said. "But I am in a jam."

Grissom heard a pause and he could hear the cogs in her brain working as she thought. "What do you need?" she asked.

"You," Grissom said after a beat. "I need your help."

~8~

"And you're leaving for what?" Sara heard her supervisor ask.

"A good friend of mine needs my assistance in a homicide investigation," she explained. "I'll only be gone a few weeks."

The man she referred to as 'boss' was a younger man who didn't have the credentials she did, but had been made supervisor regardless. It pained her that even though she had gone through so many seminars and had even studied at the forensic academy, that her determination to climb the career ladder had not been fruitful.

"The Las Vegas crime lab is the number one in the country," he stated, pushing back his chair to look at her. "Are you sure you aren't trying to run out on us."

Sara shook her head. "As far as I know it is temporary," she stated.

Her supervisor twitched his eyebrows. "As far as you know?" he asked suspiciously.

He stared Sara down, but she had been at the brunt end of a stare-down multiple times. If it was something that she wanted, personal or career-wise, she made a point to pursue it to the end. Eventually the man gave up and signed her leave.

"Two weeks," he said.

~8~

_**Catherine**__: Wait a minute. Uh, you-you can't give him the Holly case. I mean, all due respect, Nick. I want this one._

_**Grissom**__: Nicky is the only one that didn't have any personal contact with Holly. I don't want you on this, Cath._

_**Catherine**__: Why?_

_**Grissom**__: Because you're emotionally involved._

_**Catherine**__: Yeah. She was going to walk. I convinced her to stay. If anyone's to blame here, it's me, and I want this case.__(Catherine grabs the assignment sheet from Nick)__Fire me._

_**Grissom**__: I'm not firing anybody. Look. I know we're pulling a double. We're on edge 'cause of Holly. I just want everyone to stay calm and to do their jobs for the next ten hours. And for now, we're short of help. So I'm bringing in Sara Sidle to give us a hand._

_**Catherine**__: Sara Sidle?_

_**Warrick**__: Who's that?_

_**Grissom**__: She's a CSI out of San Francisco. She's a friend of mine; someone I trust. She's going to handle our internal investigation and I want to keep this in-house. I don't want I.A. involved.__(Nick nods and Catherine shakes her head)_

_**Catherine**__: Great, that's just what we need: somebody sniffing around._

~8~

The drive from San Francisco to Las Vegas was nearly eight hours long, but Sara had left immediately after her leave had been signed. She packed a few necessities and even included some appropriate dinner wear just in case Gil Grissom took her to dinner. She wasn't banking on it, but it was good to be prepared. After all it had been nearly a year since they had last seen each other and they had some catching up to do.

Grissom had told her that he was investigating an apparent suicide at the Hotel Monaco. The flock of human traffic in the parking lot told her that she had found the right place. As she got out of her car she noticed a projectile flying down from the hotel roof. She heard a thud and a burst of applause from the audience.

~8~

_**Grissom**__(to Crowd)__: Yes, yes.__(takes a photo of the first dummy, to himself)__"Norman pushed."__(takes a photo of the second dummy)__"Norman jumped."__(takes a picture of the third dummy)__"Norman fell."_

_**Sara**__: Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?__(smiles)_

_**Grissom**__: I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle._

_**Sara**__: It's me. Still tossing simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know?_

_**Grissom**__: How? Computer simulation? No thanks. I'm a scientist I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple, I drop dummies._

_**Sara**__: You're old school._

_**Grissom**__: Exactly. And this guy was pushed._

~8~

I hadn't taken too long for Holly Gribbs' murderer to be apprehended and for Sara to figure out where Warrick had been. After her two week time limit was up, she announced to Grissom that it was time for her to return to San Francisco. He wasn't sure if was his reluctance to see her go or the fact that he needed a good person on his team, but he offered her a position and she accepted it without question.

While she typed out her resignation letter, Sara wondered why she had been so quick to accept his job offer. If she worked with him, then he would be her supervisor… her superior. Was she ready to handle that? Could she work under a man she admired and considered her equal?

She only had one problem; no one on Grissom's team seemed to like her. It was understandable that they were being protective of Warrick and territorial over their cases, but she was trying to her best to help. When she had told Warrick that Holly was dead and when she first met Catherine, the other CSI's looked at her with doubt and disdain. They had no idea who she was or where she had come from and that made her uncomfortable.

~8~

_**Grissom:**__ You have to see the birthday present I got for your daughter._

_**Sara:**__ What's the rule? How long do I have to be here before I start kicking in for gifts?_

_**Catherine:**__(snidely)__ When the spirit moves you, Sara. So in your case, I guess, never._

~8~

"They don't like me," Sara said to Grissom as he walked her to her car after shift. "I feel as if they won't let me be part of the team."

Grissom was quiet, but Sara could tell that he was being sympathetic. "You're still new," he said. "Losing Holly was hard on them. I have a good team. Just give them time. They'll come to see what I see."

Sara cocked her head and lowered her voice. "And what is that?" she asked.

Grissom stood staring at her for a moment, but soon found his voice. "You're funny," he said. "And you are a brilliant scientist."

Sara looked down at her shoes. "Is that all?" she asked.

Grissom put a hand on her shoulder. "Just give them time," he said, turning to his car.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara lived for her job. If she wasn't on the clock, then she was busy trying to become a better scientist. If she wasn't trying to become better, then she was sleeping. If she wasn't sleeping or eating, then she was waiting for her shift to start. She never really had much of a social life, but that didn't mean she didn't pick up a hobby every now and then. Currently she was in the process of seeing if she could collect hair samples from a man or woman of every nationality. It wasn't something that you could bring up over dinner, but it kept her interested for the time being.

Before she moved to Nevada, Sara had hoped that she would have more time to spend with Grissom; despite their current work status .It seemed the more she tried to show off her skills, the more the distance grew between them.

"Do you want to go grab a bite?" She asked one day after shift. "We can catch up. We haven't really had a moment yet."

Grissom stopped lacing up his boot and looked at her. "Yeah," he said. "I am sorry about that. It's just … this new position has put a lot of stress on me. I just don't have time for anything and I am under a lot of scrutiny right now."

Sara nodded and gave her head a small cock to the left. "Maybe soon," she said, hopefully.

"Yeah," Grissom commented passively as he stood. "Maybe."

~8~

_**Grissom**__: You need something outside of law enforcement. Catherine has her kid, you know? I sometimes... ride roller coasters.__(Sara looks at Grissom)__What do you do?_

___**Sara**__: Nothing._

___**Grissom**__: Okay. What do you like?_

___**Sara**__: I don't like anything._

~8~

Sara was laid back on her sofa with her feet propped up on the arm rest. What Grissom had said to her had been true; she needed to find an outlet. What she said in response had also been true; that she didn't like anything. Most of the time she felt that movies were boring, new music was dull, and dance clubs were pointless. Grissom had mentioned that he sometimes rode roller-coasters, but it wasn't anything that had interested her.

She heard her phone chirp and she glanced over at the coffee table to see who would dare to disturb her peace. When she saw that it was Grissom, she leaned over to answer it.

"What's up?" Sara said into the phone.

"Are you free now?" Grissom said. "I thought maybe I would stop by so we could talk."

Sara sat up and looked at the clock. "Yeah," she said. "Just… listening to the scanner. As always."

Grissom was silent for a moment. "I'll be there in ten," he said as he disconnected.

Sara looked at the phone in her hand and shrugged. She stood, walked into her small bedroom, and looked in the mirror. She was still wearing the clothes she had worn on shift so she changed quickly and ran a comb through her hair. When Grissom knocked on her door she gulped and wondered why he still made her pulse race. Surely she was able to act like a professional.

"Wasn't sure you remembered where I lived," she said when she opened the door and saw him standing there.

"I helped you move in," Grissom replied nonchalantly. "Remember?"

Sara let him walk past her and she shut the door softly. He gave the room a once over and glanced back at where she stood. His cool, blue eyes had a way of making her feel small.

"Are you going to decorate?" he asked.

Sara scoffed. "I'm not the homey type," she said. "Look did you come here to talk or to realize you interior design aspirations?"

Grissom chuckled. "To talk," he said. "Can I sit down?"

Sara opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "I don't know," she said. "Can you?"

Grissom took a seat in her overstuffed chair and gave her a once over. "You're extra sarcastic this afternoon," he said. "What did I do?"

Sara took a swig of her beer and took a seat on her couch. "What haven't you done yet?" she asked. "Gil, I thought I came here to work with you and help you. Instead I am feeling controlled and disrespected."

Grissom looked at Sara with a confused look on his face. "How have I disrespected you?" he asked.

Sara opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, and then said what was on her mind. "You don't trust me to control my emotions," she said. "And you speak to me like I am just part of the team. Not like we're friends."

Grissom sighed. "You're right," he said. "But things are going to be different. It can't be like old times when we got together for a drink or dinner."

Sara set her beer down on the coffee table and nodded. "Not friends anymore," she said with a nod. "Gotcha."

Grissom shook his head. "I don't mean we can't be friends," he said. "I only meant that we need to act more professional."

Sara pursed her lips and racked her brain for a comeback, but she knew he was right. Deep down she knew that her choice to move to Nevada would eventually come to this.

"Yeah," she said, standing. "I understand."

~8~

**_Sara_**_: I'm going to do it, Grissom. I want to._

__**_Grissom_**_: You want to put yourself in the path of a psychotic killer?_

__**_Sara_**_: I'm trained in weaponless defense._

__**_Grissom_**_: Too bad, because that's what turns him on - women fighting back. Gives him a greater sense of power when he makes his final kill._

__**_Sara_**_: Grissom ..._

__**_Grissom_**_: Sit down, Sara._

~8~

Grissom followed Sara out of the office and grasped her elbow to stop her. As she turned he looked into her chocolate eyes and for a moment he felt more protective of her than ever before. Sara using herself as bait for the Strip Strangler wasn't something he even wanted to imagine.

"What?" She asked, annoyed that he had stopped her.

"You can't do this," he said.

Sara pulled her arm back forcefully. "I am _not_ your student anymore," she said defensively. "I can take care of myself."

She turned and continued towards the exit. Grissom followed close behind and continued to speak. He was hoping he could appeal to her better judgment.

"I have no doubt you can take care of yourself," he said, trying his best to get in front of her. "But you're my responsibility."

Sara stopped and looked at him. "Why?" she asked. "Because you asked me to come here and now I'm your burden."

Grissom held up his hands to steady her." No, you're twisting my words," he said. " I am your supervisor so it is my job to make sure you're safe. I care about what happens to you."

Sara chewed on the inside of her lip and thought about what he said. "I'll be fine," she assured him. "Beside, you'll be there."

~8~

(_Sara and Grissom look at each other.)__**Sara:**__It's easy to wear your heart on your sleeve when you're not looking in his eyes. He said her name… so their relationship must've extended beyond the computer._

~8~

"You alright," Grissom asked.

Sara set down her sandwich and nodded. "I'm fine," she said. "Just… hanging out with the group; like you recommended."

Grissom smiled. "Good," he said, taking a seat beside her. "They like you. I told you they would."

Sara nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I hardly miss you at all."

Grissom looked like he wanted to respond, but he looked down at his hands instead. For a moment, Sara regretted what she had said. She missed him tremendously.

"In a way I am glad," he said.

Sara stared into his eyes. "And the other way?" she asked.

Grissom stood without answering and left.

~8~

**See the box below. I am feeling VERY homesick and your reviews will help me feel better. Korea is great, but I miss home so bad. I hope this is a good story. I plan to.. spice it up. **


	3. Chapter 3

In order to fit in more with her new team, Sara put Grissom on the back burner and started to spend more time with her coworkers. She had learned many things about her new male workers; as she was apt to have more in common with them. She learned that Nick Stokes was from Texas and that he was a country music fan. He was good friends with Warrick Brown and together the three of them would frequent bars popular to Las Vegans.

"So Sara," Nick said to her one morning after shift. "How do you know Grissom?'

Sara took a swig of her beer. "From a seminar I attended," she explained. "He was the key speaker."

Warrick nodded. "Okay," he said. "So … you just kept in touch?"

Sara wanted to choose her words carefully. She had more of a personal relationship with Grissom then they had and she didn't want to say anything to jeopardize his image in their eyes.

"Umm..," she stuttered, looking for word. "Yeah, but mostly just for work. He… is an entomologist after all." Sara looked from Nick to Warrick and added. "Can we not talk about Grissom? We came here to relax."

Nick nodded. "You're right," he said. "Kids, I gotta run."

Nick stood, slapped a five-dollar bill on the table, grabbed his jacket, and left. Sara and Warrick lifted their beer bottles in respect to his departure. When he was gone, Warrick turned to Sara and smiled.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked.

Sara raised her eyebrows. "Why? Are you interested?" she asked, smiling at the shocked expression that came over her new friend's face. "Relax… I'm just messing with you. I actually have a date with a cute paramedic I just met."

Warrick nodded. "I'll be careful not to let it slip to Grissom," he remarked playfully.

~8~

_**Sara**__: (wondering) It's a bit of a coincidence, though, don't you think? Catherine just showing up at the diner. It's not like she knew I was going to be there._

_**Nick**__: I knew._

_(Nick puts the cell phone to his ear and walks away.) Warrick looks at Sara who in turn gives him a stern look and whacks him on his shoulder as she leaves.)_

~8~

Sara was dating?

It was true that he wanted her to pick up a hobby or get more involved with the team, but he had never imagined that she would be romantic with someone. Grissom battled with his emotions. He knew that Sara was not an option for him and yet… he wanted her to be one.

"Sara," he called to her as she was climbing into her car.

Sara stopped and smiled. "Hey," she said. "I am glad everything turned out alright."

"Yeah," he replied. "Hey look… I am glad to see that you are getting out more. Where did you meet this guy?"

Sara blushed and looked down. "At a crime scene," she said with a laugh. "At least he wasn't the victim."

Grissom tried to smile at her joke. "Yeah," he said. "That's always a plus."

~8~

**S**_**ara:**__Uh, Grissom ... aren't you going to tell me anything?__  
><em>_**Gil:**__About?__  
><em>_**Sara:**__The case, the meat, what you found ...?__  
><em>_**Gil:**__I'm working it.__  
><em>_**Sara:**__I thought I was working it with you.__  
><em>_**Gil:**__Yes. You're right, you are. So, take some photos of the experiment for the D.A. And then ... uh ... get rid of that stuff._

~8~

"It's just hamburger meat," Nick said as he carried the remains of Grissom's experiment to the dumpster. "It isn't going to bite you."

Sara looked at him sideways, but kept up with his pace. "I am aware that it isn't going to jump up and attack me," she stated. "but it turns my stomach and breaks my heart."

Nick threw the green bag over the edge of the dumpster and wiped his hands. "Well, it's gone now. I saved the day."

Sara smiled. "Thanks," she said. "I still can't believe Grissom didn't pick up on the fact that I quit eating meat."

Nick patted her on the back to reassure her. "I don't think Grissom really pays attention to other people," he remarked. "He is kind of a work-a-holic."

Sara nodded. "I can see that," she said. "It just annoys me."

Nick cocked his head and wrinkled his nose. "Why do you care so much about Grissom?"

Sara searched for an answer. "I don't," she said. "I just think… it's common courtesy."

~8~

_**Grissom**__: What is Victoria's Secret, anyway?__  
><em>_**Sara**__: Beauty, Grissom. Remember?_

~8~

He didn't know why he commented on Sara's beauty, but he had. He wasn't too sure if he needed to talk to Sara and retract what he said or hope that the situation solved itself. It didn't help that every time he saw Sara he wanted to unwind with her as he once had and unload his burdens to her listening ear.

"Hey," he heard her smoky voice say behind him one day.

He turned to see Sara standing in the doorway to the evidence room. "Do you need a hand?" she asked.

Grissom scanned the millions of replies that floated around in his mind. Of course he wanted her to come help him, but was it right? Was it fair to her? Was it fair to him?

"I don't want to bother you," he said a lot softer than he should have.

Sara shrugged and walked in to stand beside him. "You're not a bother to me," she said.

He knew that was true and that she would gladly bring him the moon if he asked her to. Instead of insisting that he did not need help, he handed her a swab and continued his work.

"So," he said. "Have you decided what you are going to do?"

Sara began her work, but replied to his question. "I'm not going anywhere," she said. "Thanks for signing my leave, but I'm going to stick around and see what happens."

Grissom stopped his work and looked over at her. She too stopped her work and returned his gaze. For a moment Grissom thought that he felt something unspoken pass between them. He wished that things could be as they once were, but he had new responsibilities.

"Thank you," he said, returning to his work.

~8~

_**Grissom**__(to Sara)__: Well, you do know how to light up a room._

~8~

Was he flirting with her? The remark about beauty had gotten her attention and she had attributed it to a slip-up, but now he was getting bolder with his comments. She was growing more confused by his actions each time she spoke to him and it was time that she put a stop to it.

"Grissom, what are you doing to me?" she asked.

She had caught him his office eating a sandwich. The look on his face told her that he did not expect her to speak to him. Slowly he sat down the sandwich and took his glasses off. Sara tried to ignore the fact that his eyes were beautiful, but she couldn't.

"I'm sorry," he said in his defensive. "Did you want half?

Sara shook her head. "I don't want part of your.. look," she said, taking a seat. "I don't know what you want. You send me a plant, you call me beautiful, and you tell me I "know how to light up a room". I am not sure what you want from me. Is it just because I wanted to leave?"

Grissom shook his head. "Look," he tried to explain. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just… wanted to make you feel better."

Sara didn't reply. Instead she stared at him and wondered if she was making one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

~8~

**See the box below. I am feeling VERY homesick and your reviews will help me feel better. Korea is great, but I miss home so bad. I hope this is a good story. I plan to.. spice it up. **


	4. Chapter 4

There had been no chalk on his face.

He knew that before he wiped his check for residue. The feeling of her hand against his cheek sent electricity through his jaw. When he pulled his hand away from his face he thought he saw Sara's eyes twinkle at him. As she walked back towards the scene, Grissom let his eyes follow her

. Was she intentionally flirting with him?

Had there really been chalk?

Was he reading too much into this?

**~8~**

**Sara**: I brushed chalk from his face.  
><strong>Marjorie Wescott<strong>: Is that what they're calling it now?  
><strong>District Attorney<strong>: Objection, your honor.  
><strong>Sara<strong>: Drywall dust. We were looking for a body.  
><strong>Marjorie Wescott<strong>: It's a fair question, your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss, Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not?

~8~

"They really chewed you up," Nick remarked to Sara at the end of shift.

Sara agreed. "Yeah," she said. "I still feel the stick up my ass from where they had me on the spit."

Nick snickered. "What was all that talk about Grissom?" he asked.

Sara wrinkled her nose and shrugged. "They just want to tarnish our image," she replied. "They'll stoop to any level."

Nick took a moment to reply and for a instant Sara wondered if her feelings were too transparent. Finally, he nodded and finished lacing up his shoes.

"Aint that the truth," he commented before he left.

~8~

**Grissom**: I paged you two hours ago.  
><strong>Sara<strong>: Right. Uh, it's my day off. I was up in Pahrump at some vineyard. You told me to get a life, remember?  
><strong>Grissom<strong>: Did I? _(pauses)_ I'm sorry, but I needed you. Dispatch called in a 419 at Tuscadero High School. You're on your own.  
><strong>Sara<strong>: On my own?

~8~

He felt like an asshole, but he couldn't handle knowing that she was with him. It was a manipulative thing to do, but he couldn't help it. Later, before she left the lab, he caught her in the locker room. She was rubbing lotion along her arms and Grissom caught himself wishing he could be the one to help smooth it on her skin.

"Hey," he said.

Sara stopped massaging her arms and threw the small bottle in her locker. She flung the door and it shut with a loud '_clank_'. Grissom could feel an awkward tension fill the room.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding sincere. "I shouldn't have … demanded your time like that."

Sara pursed her lips and looked down. " It's fine," she said. "I just… you confuse me."

Grissom nodded. "I… don't really know how to articulate myself to you," he said. "You intimidate me."

Sara stood and grabbed her jacket off the bench. "I am not sure if that's romantically honest or rude," she said. "So I'm going to ignore it."

"Wait," Grissom said as she walked past him. "This is … new to me."

Sara stopped and turned. "The situation may be," she remarked. "But I'm not new to you."

~8~

**Sara**: You want me to make you a copy?  
><strong>Grissom<strong>: I don't need one, I have you.

~8~

"_He has me?" _Sara thought.

His remark, though it may have been innocent and passive, plagued her thoughts. She was trying with every fiber of her soul to move on and make herself happy, but it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Dating Hank helped, but she found it hard to find something in common with him.

"So," Hank told Sara one day while they were out having breakfast. "How was your shift?"

Sara smiled awkwardly. "My hero is a murderer," she said. "I had to work her case. I thought I would surprise her with a conviction in her case… but the best intentions are fraught with disappointment"

Hank gapped. "You're kidding me," he said, feigning interest to her story.". "So I bought this awesome CD and I was wondering if I could come over and we could listen to it."

Sara couldn't help but think that he sounded immature and she wondered what she was doing with him. Was she really attracted to him or did she want attention?

"Well," she said. "I could use a little alone time right now. Grissom has been…"

Hank shook his head. "You always talk about Grissom. I'm right here… talk to me."

Sara cocked her head and blinked at him. It was obvious that he was there, but was he what she wanted? She knew who she needed, but she couldn't have him. Suddenly a single word popped into her mind.

Rebound.

~8~

**Warrick**: You sure with all your life-saving efforts you didn't move her?  
><strong>Hank<strong>: Hey, man, like I said, I checked for vitals.  
><strong>Sara<strong> _(to Hank)_: It's okay, baby. _(everyone stares at her)_

_~8~_

"What, wait," Nick was telling Greg one afternoon. "It gets juicer."

"Don't tell me they made out in front of the whole group," Greg asked, his disdain for Hank obvious. "If you do I'll puke right here."

"No, no, no," Nick said, holding up a hand. "She said 'It's okay, baby' right in front of … Jesus and everyone."

Greg stopped mid swabbed and the swab fell to his desk. "Was Grissom there?" he asked.

"Was I where?" Grissom asked, poking his head around the corner.

Both men pretended to be busy. Nick started to focus on the printout that he had been holding and Greg returned to his swabbing.

"Oh, nothing," Nick replied. "Sara was just being gushy at a crime scene over that airhead paramedic; gave us something to chuckle about for an hour."

Grissom shut the folder he was holding. "Well," he said. "I can use a laugh. What happened?"

Nick shook his head and started to back out of the lab. "Now that I think about it," Nick said. "It's stupid. She just called him 'baby' and I'm sure it's not even worth bringing up again. I'm gonna… get back to work."

Grissom looked after him and cocked his head. Beside him Greg cleared his throat. He looked back at the lab tech and waited for him to speak.

"Terms of endearment," Greg said. "My chances are down to none."

Grissom ignored him and walked away.

~0~

_Baby?_

She had called him 'Baby'. It shouldn't have irritated him as it was, but it was buzzing around his head like a swarm of nesting mosquitoes. She was supposed to be _his_ baby. That was the way he really wanted it, but knowing that she was getting in further involved in this relationship made him sick.

In order to remain san about the situation, he watched her. Something he wasn't supposed to do, but something he couldn't help doing. He was enamored by the way she walked; a spunky strut that he thought was endearing. He was mesmerized by her skin; freckled and smooth.

He wanted her.

He couldn't have her.

_~8~_

_(After Hank cheated on Sara)_  
><strong>Catherine<strong>: You got plans?  
><strong>Sara<strong>: Nope.  
><strong>Catherine<strong>: You wanna get a beer?  
><strong>Sara<strong>: Drive.

~8~

"They're animals," Catherine said, lifting a beer to her lips. "They just get off… then get out."

Sara nodded and raised her own beer. "That's exactly how it feels," she replied.

Catherine leaned back in her chair. "I know I have said this before," she said. "But don't let it get to you. You're just too much woman for him."

Sara scoffed. "Well," she said. "He already had one."

Catherine laughed. "I don't remember how many side-tramps Eddie had," she said. "They did things I didn't even _want _to do and that wasn't much."

Sara smiled at Catherine's brute honesty. "I just… these damn me," she said, letting her hands drop on the table.

Catherine raised her eyebrows. "These?" she asked. "You have another?"

Sara shook her head. "Just… I've been in love with one man for a long time," she said. "and … I just can't shake it."

Catherine stood and put a hand on Sara's back. "Grissom's married to his job," she said with a smile.

~8~

**Thank you for your support. If you pray, please do so for me. I am starting to struggle with depression and homesickness. Your reviews DO help. CSI has been my pillow and that's why I came out of the wood work and started writing again. I love you all and I hope to do this justice.**

**You connect with me on Facebook: **

** Katynkorea**


	5. Chapter 5

"Here's the results you asked for," Greg said proudly, presenting Grissom with his findings. He flipped through the pages and turned to walk away, but the lab tech added. "Did you hear?"

Grissom stopped and turned. "Hear what?" he asked.

Greg stepped closer. "Now, you didn't hear this from me," he said. "But Sara's paramedic boyfriend was using her as a part time fling. "

Grissom shook his head. "Greg, you shouldn't listen to office gossip," he said.

"Oh.," Greg said. "I have it on really good authority."

Grissom nodded. "Oh," he said. "Well authorize those samples."

~8~

Grissom couldn't help but feel heartbroken for Sara. He never did like the guy… Hank, but she was worth far more than a lie and false promises. In a way, he wondered if he hadn't done the same thing to her; if his bringing her here wasn't another heartbreak for her.

**~8~**

_**Nick**__: Hey, Sara, I don't want to cross any lines here, but, uh, I've got this buddy who's not going out with anybody...__  
><em>_**Sara**__: No. No, no, forget it.__  
><em>_**Nick**__: He's a cool guy.__  
><em>_**Sara**__: No._

**~8~**

Word had traveled fast at work and now everyone was looking at her sympathetically. Even Grissom spoke to her with more delicacy and that was something that she did not want. She had worked too hard in her life for people to see her vulnerable side.

"Why don't you take a few days?" Grissom said to one day as they sat in the break room.

It felt like it had been a long time since they had seen each other, but in reality is was the first time in a long time that they actually recognized each other. Sara still had the same soft, smooth chocolate eyes.

"I … don't want to," she said. "I know you know," she shrugged. "I know everyone knows."

Grissom looked at her over the rims of his glasses. He tried not to show too much emotion for her in his face, but his tone gave away a hint of how he felt. He didn't know if she realized it, but he didn't want to risk it.

"Sara," he started. "I doesn't matter who knows. This was a bad blow to your ego and we both know how you can be. You need to relax a little."

Sara sighed. "Yeah," she said. "I guess I can be a real bitch."

Grissom flinched, not at her choice of words, but about how she was referring to herself. "I didn't mean that," he said.

"I know …" Grissom heard, but soon her words faded.

Grissom changed his expression and leaned back, paying close attention to her lips. As Sara spoke, he waited on the sound of her voice to return to him.

He couldn't hear her and the loss of her voice hurt him most of all.

**~8~**

_**Sara**__: Would you like to have dinner with me?  
><em>_**Grissom**__: No.  
><em>_**Sara**__: Why not? Let's ... Let's have dinner, let's see what happens.  
><em>_**Grissom**__: Sara ... I don't know what to do about this.  
><em>_**Sara**__: I do. By the time you figure it out, you really will be too late._

**~8~**

Sara sat down on her couch, opened a bottle of vodka, and took a swig. It burned going down her throat and for a moment she felt like spitting it out. Washing her worries away wasn't going to put a stop to anything.

Was she a total idiot?

Was she being self-destructive?

She was in love with Grissom. She had admitted that much to herself

. How long had she been in love with him?

When she first met him she had wanted to take him to dinner to pick apart his brain and talk facts. He had politely declined at _that_ time. _This_ time had been different. He had blatantly turned her down and she thought she was an idiot for bringing it up.

She just wanted to drink it away. To wash herself of the pain and sorrow she felt in her life.

For her childhood.

Her lost friend.

Hank.

And her love for Gil Grissom.

~8~

_**Sara**__: Yeah. Why live in a one-room flea bag when you can pool your resources and live like this.__  
><em>_**Catherine**__: Hey, how 'bout it: You, me, Warrick, Nick, Grissom...__  
><em>_**Sara**__(shakes her head)__: Oh, eeh... not Grissom_

~8~

Since his operation, Sara had made herself scarce. He regretted not telling her his true feelings, but his attraction for her was dangerous at this point. He had no business roping her in if he couldn't deliver. Maybe in an ideal world, where he was not her supervisor, they could ride off into the sunset and make love far into the night.

He had often fantasized about Sara and most of the time he did it when she was standing right next to him. It seemed that the more he wanted her, the more pushed her away from him. It was as if he knew he was going to slip and he did not trust himself.

How long has he loved her?

When he first saw her she wore her hair in a ponytail. She had been younger, but just as brilliant as she was now. From the moment he saw her he wanted her, but she had always been far from his grasp.

Now she was right next to him and further still yet.

~8~

_**Grissom**__: Your application's on my desk.__  
><em>_**Sara**__: About that, I, um... I needed to know... I... I wanted to make sure, rather, that anything that happened or didn't happen between us won't be a factor.__(Grissom looks confused)__Never mind. I-I shouldn't have said anything.__(Grissom still looks confused)__I, um... I'm always over-talking around you.__(Sara leaves the room, leaving Grissom still confused)_

_~8~_

His hands had been so close to her.

She felt that if they had hesitated any longer… at that moment, then she would have lost control of herself. She said the first thing that came to her mind and it turned out to be a big mistake. Instead of helping to ease the situation, she had made it more awkward. Now, whenever she saw Grissom, his eyes failed to meet hers. They spoke when it was necessary, but personal remarks were few and far between.

She knew he felt it to.

She didn't know if it was worse that couldn't acknowledge it or that he wouldn't. It would be ideal if they could just through caution to the wind, but she hoped this promotion would change the way she stood in his eyes. She hoped that once that he saw that she could promote herself, then he would take a risk on her.

_~8~_

_**Sara**__: Hey, you seen Grissom?  
><em>_**Catherine**__: He's still at the crime scene.  
><em>_**Sara**__: I eliminated both victims from the print you pulled off the bed.  
><em>_**Catherine**__: Well, we know she was fishing off the company pier. __(Sara nods)__ You, uh, seen Debbie?  
><em>_**Sara**__: Yeah.  
><em>_**Catherine**__: And?  
><em>_**Sara**__(avoiding)__: Yeah, I compared her toe prints.  
><em>_**Catherine**__: If I didn't know any better, I'd think that was you on the table.  
><em>_**Sara**__: I didn't really look at her face. __(pause)__ If you see Grissom, could you tell him?_

~8~

He wouldn't be taking any risks on her.

Sitting at home she twirled a bottle of gin in her hands. She was already halfway done with the bottle and she relished the warm feelings it gave her. Whenever she came home and drank, all her problems disappeared.

"_someone young and beautiful comes along.."_ Grissom had said to Lurie.

She realized that she had looked like the victim and that Grissom hadn't taken a break from the case. In a sadistic way, she found this flattering. It wasn't until she heard him speak to Lurie that she knew the truth.

He wouldn't be taking any risks on her.

Because she wasn't worth it.

~8~

I wanted to give ya'll two chapters, but please keep the reviews coming.

**Thank you for your support. If you pray, please do so for me. I am starting to struggle with depression and homesickness. Your reviews DO help. CSI has been my pillow and that's why I came out of the wood work and started writing again. I love you all and I hope to do this justice.**

**You connect with me on Facebook: **

** Katynkorea**


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